just a girl...

2010-07-03T19:14:00.002+02:00

Its over 90 degrees here again today and its humid!!!
Here on base we aren't allowed to have air conditioner so we suffer! This week has been crazy. I worked sunday through monday and was supposed to work tuesday when I had to go to the ER monday night for an asthma attack. They wouldn't allow me to go back to work until the first, but it was my scheduled day off. So tuesday I stayed in the house all day sweating! and wednesday I went to the farmers market with the girls. Thursday and friday I got my hair done and lunch with the girls and josh got off early. Today is the Rocking third of july fest here on our side of the base, we went down and saw what it was all about and now we are chillen out. I work sunday monday and tuesday but then have another four days off. I get double time for monday for the holiday so I can't complain! josh is off until tuesday, but luckily I only work until 2:30pm each day so we still get to spend a lot of time together. I have to schedule a doctors appointment for a follow up from the ER and to see about my feet, they are hurting all the time and i have this cyst that is growing on the bottom of my foot. Hopefully that will get done this week but we will see. Its hard to believe that tomorrow will be the 4th of july, one year since we buried my dad.

death.

2010-06-29T15:31:00.002+02:00

Today one year ago I was on the phone when I received news that my dad had been in an accident and was life flighted, about thirty minutes later I got the news he didn't make it. It took us three days to get home, I remember just laying in the bed those three days begging to die with him. Not knowing how I could live without my dad or my bestfriend, and thinking about my mom and what she was thinking. I was also very angry I couldn't be there, that I wasn't there, and that it was taking so long to get home. We finally made it home and the rest was really a blur. A lot of it has been blocked out not by drugs but by my own mind. It's probably for the best too. I do remember the funeral riding along the back of the harley and feeling my dad with me and all around me. The patriot guard riders and all my family and dad's friends rode on their harleys in the funeral precession. It was beautiful. I remember TAPS and I remember jumping everytime they shot the guns for the salute. I remember being numb. And then in a flash a month was gone and I was home, and then six months gone, and it was thanksgiving. I was so angry for awhile that the world kept going, that life kept going when I felt like I was standing still. I hated everything and everyone for awhile. Then one day I woke up and realized it was time, time to move on, and to deal with these feelings. I have gotten a lot better, but I still think of my dad everyday. I miss him calling everyday (literally) and talking about whatever it was. just random things. I miss his laugh. I am lucky God gave me my dad for as long as I had him, and that the last words I ever spoke to him Was I love you dad just the day before he died. For this I am thankful

work work work

2010-06-28T20:33:00.002+02:00

All is well here. Josh is back to working and I have started work. I really love my job at lodging. They are like a big family which makes everything nice. I'm not used to working so much yet but after wednesday it will calm down. I should be working 24 to 32 hours a week. So far I come home worn out and ready for bed by 5 lol. I have been working a morning shift 6am to 2:30pm. its really nice to come home and get some things done before josh comes home. I have been working sunday's though and will through out july. I also work the fourth but I am getting paid double for it so I cannot complain. Working is making the time left here go by a lot faster which I like. It's also keeping me busy which I need.
Last week was soo busy even on my two days off I was in and out so much I never had time to relax. We went to a recipe swap and a game night, then we rented movies. It was a really fun two days off. We watched star trek which I actually loved! I have no idea what we will do with my three days off other than on the third going to see the fireworks and big show (concerts and booths) over here. We can walk from our house, so might as well enjoy it. The last two years we haven't been able to go because we have been home on e-leave but this time (and our last fourth here) we will actually get to go and enjoy it. Josh's passport also came in so I am looking forward to all the places we will get to go and booking some trips soon! I think first I want to take him to CORA, its in France its like a french walmart and they have fresh seafood and stuff like that, I have been a lot but josh hasn't yet and I think he would like it. I know we want to go to Belgium and to Luxembourg both which are about an hour or two from here. I also want to go to Lorraine cemetary. Looks like a lot of day trips in our future :)