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Tuesday, June 29, 2010

death.

Today one year ago I was on the phone when I received news that my dad had been in an accident and was life flighted, about thirty minutes later I got the news he didn't make it. It took us three days to get home, I remember just laying in the bed those three days begging to die with him. Not knowing how I could live without my dad or my bestfriend, and thinking about my mom and what she was thinking. I was also very angry I couldn't be there, that I wasn't there, and that it was taking so long to get home. We finally made it home and the rest was really a blur. A lot of it has been blocked out not by drugs but by my own mind. It's probably for the best too. I do remember the funeral riding along the back of the harley and feeling my dad with me and all around me. The patriot guard riders and all my family and dad's friends rode on their harleys in the funeral precession. It was beautiful. I remember TAPS and I remember jumping everytime they shot the guns for the salute. I remember being numb. And then in a flash a month was gone and I was home, and then six months gone, and it was thanksgiving. I was so angry for awhile that the world kept going, that life kept going when I felt like I was standing still. I hated everything and everyone for awhile. Then one day I woke up and realized it was time, time to move on, and to deal with these feelings. I have gotten a lot better, but I still think of my dad everyday. I miss him calling everyday (literally) and talking about whatever it was. just random things. I miss his laugh. I am lucky God gave me my dad for as long as I had him, and that the last words I ever spoke to him Was I love you dad just the day before he died. For this I am thankful

Posted by kaylee at 3:31 PM

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Monday, June 28, 2010

work work work

All is well here. Josh is back to working and I have started work. I really love my job at lodging. They are like a big family which makes everything nice. I'm not used to working so much yet but after wednesday it will calm down. I should be working 24 to 32 hours a week. So far I come home worn out and ready for bed by 5 lol. I have been working a morning shift 6am to 2:30pm. its really nice to come home and get some things done before josh comes home. I have been working sunday's though and will through out july. I also work the fourth but I am getting paid double for it so I cannot complain. Working is making the time left here go by a lot faster which I like. It's also keeping me busy which I need.
Last week was soo busy even on my two days off I was in and out so much I never had time to relax. We went to a recipe swap and a game night, then we rented movies. It was a really fun two days off. We watched star trek which I actually loved! I have no idea what we will do with my three days off other than on the third going to see the fireworks and big show (concerts and booths) over here. We can walk from our house, so might as well enjoy it. The last two years we haven't been able to go because we have been home on e-leave but this time (and our last fourth here) we will actually get to go and enjoy it. Josh's passport also came in so I am looking forward to all the places we will get to go and booking some trips soon! I think first I want to take him to CORA, its in France its like a french walmart and they have fresh seafood and stuff like that, I have been a lot but josh hasn't yet and I think he would like it. I know we want to go to Belgium and to Luxembourg both which are about an hour or two from here. I also want to go to Lorraine cemetary. Looks like a lot of day trips in our future :)

Posted by kaylee at 8:33 PM

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